Contact Name
Barbara Dietsch
562-985-9488

Contact Email
bdietsc@WestEd.org

Gary Nunley, Ed.D., LPC
Executive Director
Youth and Family Services, Bartlesville, OK

Any of us who have raised children or have worked with them professionally as educators, counselors, etc. will undoubtedly agree that there are many complex internal and external forces that shape a child's physical, emotional, psychological, and behavioral development. When you consider that there are various degrees of interplay between all of these aspects of development, much of which we still do not fully understand, it is often very confusing to figure out why a young person engages in risky behavior and what intervention might work best in resolving internal issues, combating external pressures, and motivating the youth to make the right decisions.

As we learn more about brain development, we are discovering the amazing power of genetics and first/second year of life experiences on a child's future development. This gives us an excellent base of knowledge from which to focus on pre/post-natal health care and quality parenting that facilitates bonding, trust, and security in children. We now know that if we do it right early in a child's life, it will likely set the stage for years of more healthy adjustments as the child matures.

As a child grows older, more verbal, and better able to understand relationships, concepts, and consequences, we still have wonderful opportunities to teach and model for a child attitudes, beliefs, and skills that can both protect them and broaden their potential for positive growth and development. For almost 25 years I have worked with youth through counseling programs trying to repair damage done through abuse, dysfunctional relationships among family members, conflicts with peers, or just poor decisions on the part of the youth. While such services to children and families must be available, I am convinced that reaching children with a preventative model for living is a more fundamental necessity in shaping their future.

I have found nothing better than a concept called "Resiliency" for teaching a model for living to our young people. Resiliency is simply one's capacity to "bounce back" or recover from the adverse conditions of life. We know for a fact that our bodies are genetically designed with a built-in capacity for healing and overcoming attacks from many biological forces and diseases. Those of us who prescribe to the resiliency theory believe that we also have a genetic capacity to overcome most social and situational adversities that come against us. We have the innate ability to play, laugh, experience hope and joy, all of which are powerful forces that facilitate healing. We have the innate ability to grieve and cry when heavy emotional pain needs to be released. We also are born with a sense of intuition and a conscience to guide us in knowing right from wrong. Finally, we have the innate ability to learn from our mistakes and grow from failure.

As powerful and natural as these abilities might be, they are often crippled before a child reaches adolescence by negative experiences in life that strip us of hope, take away our laughter, forbid us from crying, sear our consciences, and teach us not to try in order to avoid failure. As children, we are rarely taught at home or in school how to sharpen and depend on our natural abilities to deal with the adversities of life. By the difficult years of adolescence many youth have given up on their own abilities to create happiness and direct their future and are turning to unprotected sex, drugs, gangs, or anything they can find to take away their fears and pain and give them a sense of belonging and purpose.

The resiliency model, as developed by Dr. Glenn Richardson from the University of Utah, is one of the best I have seen for teaching students at all grade levels how to recognize, strengthen, and apply their natural abilities to deal with adversity.1 The model describes these innate abilities as coming from the heart or core of an individual. It then teaches skills for approaching life "from the heart"-skills that keep us growing in a positive direction. Building resiliency in children starts by building relationships. Before we can teach children to trust their hearts we have to show them through our relationship how valuable they truly are, regardless of what has happened in their past. They have to trust us enough to feel comfortable playing, laughing, crying, trusting their conscience, and taking risks that could result in failure. The resiliency model helps youth understand that they have purpose, that they can make a difference in not only their own lives, but the lives of others, and perhaps the world. It helps youth start developing a vision or "dream" for what kind of difference they want to make in this world. Resiliency is also about teaching youth how to stretch their comfort zones. Skills are taught that encourage youth to view each disruption in their lives, whether that be the loss of a friend or an unplanned pregnancy, as an opportunity to learn and grow stronger in one's coping skills. Resiliency teaches youth to view every decision they must make, whether how much to study or how to respond to pressure to have sex, with a question of "will this take me towards my vision of who I want to be and what I want to accomplish in life?"

We know that it is this search for security, purpose, belonging, and a sense of control over our lives that plays a major role in nearly all of the decisions we make in life. The resiliency model addresses these core needs while teaching a simple but powerful framework for getting these needs met successfully, in a way that we feel good about.

1 Richardson, Glenn, The Resiliency Training Manual. Dubuque, Iowa, Wm. C. Brown Communications, 1995.